More on SELF ESTEEM!

More on Self Esteem!

I hate to approach anything from a negative point of view. But sometimes it's necessary to speak bluntly...to discuss the negative in order to understand the positive.

The simple fact is...there are things that parents sometimes do that lower their child's self esteem.

The following are Self-Esteem Killers:

1. Compare one child to another, especially with siblings.
2. Have super high standards, reward only high level of progress.
3. Yell - A LOT!
4. Assume their child really wants, needs, and deserves all the freedom they are asking for.

Additionally they would:

1. Let the child make lots of choices for themselves, especially when they are really young.
2. Neglect to follow through. For example: Mom tells Lisa that a certain rule violation will result in a consequence. Lisa commits violation. Mom caves in and doesn't enforce consequence.
3. Set standars for the kids that Mom and Dad don't hold themselves to.
4. When you catch your children aspiring, caution them not to set their sights too high.
5. Be frugal in spending time with your kids.

And Finally...

1. Assume they will follow your words rather than your example.

Of course our job is to turn each of these awful statements into its opposite. Building your child's self worth requires consistent effort. Be diligent!

If you have any questions regarding Self Esteem give me a call, I'd be happy to help!

Your friend,

Ivan Kravitz

(949) 363-6500

P.S. Many of our readers have called to find out how to learn more about "KID Skill" topics. As a courtesy I've decided to offer a FREE One-Week Trial Membership at "USBA" to all of our readers. If you would like to register, just call us at (949)363-6500 and ask for Rachel.

P.P.S. You must hurry. It's our busy season with parents preparing for "Back To School", so we can only accept the first 25 requests.

The Habit Of Commitment

The Habit of Commitment

Champions have something called a Non-Quitting Spirit.

Also referred to as the Habit of Commitment.

Champions commit to the completion of worthy goals.

 

Anytime you set your sights on a worthwhile goal, such as becoming and healthy and fit Black Belt Champion, or the various degrees that follow, it is also important to stay the course. Stick to it until you do it!

There are valuable life lessons learned when you overcome obstacles… versus giving up or quitting whenever you encounter setbacks or obstacles.

                                                  

All Champions encounter obstacles, challenges and setbacks.

The best get better by overcoming anything that stands between them and the successful achievement of their goal. Every time you learn to overcome an obstacle or a setback, or you solve a problem, you become stronger in the habit of commitment.

Habits we Train…are Habits we Gain.

If you’re going to develop life long habits, it’s in your best interest to develop Habits of Excellence that will best serve you and those you care about.

The opposite of this would be the habit of quitting or giving up. Many people are great at starting something, but only an achiever sees things through to completion. Unfortunately, far too many people stop as quickly as they start. So, they develop the habit of start/stop/start/stop.

This is called the Habit of Mediocrity or playing the blame game.

These are the people that never follow through to completion, and seem to always find an excuse or way to blame someone else for their failures in life.

As part of our Habits of Excellence series, we encourage you to develop the habit of commitment and think about how you can commit to completion of the worthy goals you’ve set for yourself.

Dealing With FEAR!

Fear affects us all at one time or another.

It

1. prevents us from doing the things that we should do, or would like to do.
2. produces mental stress and physical illness.
3. robs us of the happy, healthy life that we deserve!

But there is a little known secret! Fear is like a toothless dog, all bark and no bite.

Our children must learn that there are two types of fear.

The first type is the fear of circumstances that are truly dangerous. This fear is important, and must be paid attention to.

Should you have some fear about waking into traffic? Facing a vicious dog? You bet! These fears are there to protect us from situations that might actually harm us.

The second type of fear is different. It's also much more common. It's the fear that arises when no danger is actually present. For example some kids are afraid of:

1. meeting new people
2. trying a new thing
3. not conforming with other children

These fears can be conquered! They don't protect us from any actual danger. They serve no purpose, other than to hold us back...to keep us from realizing our potential.

Exercise:

1. With your child, identify a situation that would ordinarily cause him to be afraid.
2. Use visualization to "rehearse" the situation...with a successful outcome. Have Matt close his eyes. Say something like "Matt it's your turn in front of the class. You feel so calm. Your muscles are loose. You are breathing easily. You move without hurrying. You actually enjoy your time in front of the class. You finish your presentation and everybody applauds. You have a huge smile on your face as you return to your seat. You feel so proud of yourself."
3. Repeat and reinforce this process frequently, each time creating a vivd picture for Matt.
4. Teach Matt to "replay" this mental image on his own.

If you have any questions about helping your child conquer FEAR, give me a shout at (949) 363-6500. I'd be glad to help!

Your Friend,

Ivan Kravitz
US Blackbelt Academy
30251-H Golden Lantern
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
(949)363-6500
www.teamusba.com 

Dealing with "Popularity Issues"

A popular person is one who is liked by many people. It's nice to be popular...but the pursuit of popularity can lead to trouble. Popular apps like Instagram, Snapchat, and others have multiplied the popularity issue to an all time high.

Heather says "I want to be popular no matter what... I'll do whatever it takes."

Monica says, "I'd like to be popular of course...but not at any price. I insist on being myself!"

As parents the thought expressed by Heather is bound to make us uneasy. Monica of course, expresses a healthier perspective.

When popularity issues become too important to your child problems arise.

• Sometimes children will do things that they know they shouldn't do... because they are afraid of losing popularity... They may cave in to peer pressure.
• Other times, kids will feel that they aren't popular with the "right" crowd. They don't appreciate their current friends.
• Some kids believe that popularity is based on the "right" clothes, or how many "Instagram followers" they have. They lose their identity by following the crowd.

When these types of popularity issues are attained, they are shallow and short lasting. They last only until the next "popularity test" comes up.

Teach your child to be a person who does the right thing..no matter what others think, and that loyalty, integrity, and kindness will lead to genuine popularity.

Teach them to treat all others, regardless of social status with respect and courtesy.

Remind them not to be tricked into doing things they know are wrong in order to gain popularity.

Above all, continually teach them about the value and importance of relationships to each other within your family. Teach them about your family history and heritage.  A young person who has a strong sense of family pride won't succumb to the pressure to be TOO popular.

Popularity will come to your child when people recognize him/her as a person with integrity!

If you have any questions regarding popularity issues, give me a call...I'd be happy to help!

Your Friend,

Ivan Kravitz
US Blackbelt Academy
(949) 363-6500

P.S. If you know of anyone who would enjoy this article, please share!

The 5 Skills of Listening!

It's frustrating when our children don't seem to listen, isn't it?

And when they don't pay attention to what you're saying at home, you have to wonder how much they are missing at school!

In 20+ years of teaching martial arts in our community, we've developed a 5 step approach to teach the skill of listening. You can easily teach these 5 steps to your child!

• The Listening Posture. Teach your child that when it's time to listen they must sit or stand up straight. Shoulders back, chin up and eyes straight ahead. This alone can double listening retention.
• Direct Eye Contact is Essential. Insist on it when you are speaking to your child. They will then be able to focus on the words being said.
• Repeat the Message Back to the Speaker When Possible. For example a child might say, "So mom, you'd like me to clean my room and feed the dog before I play on my I-Pad?" This lets the speaker know your child has understood!
• Ask Questions! Coach your children to ask respectful questions. This shows that they are paying attention, and care about what the other person is saying!
• Look for more information. Especially with older children, train them to ask themselves, "How does the speaker feel about what they are saying?" Are they bored? Angry? Interested? Concerned? 

My friends, even young children can be taught these steps. Begin by reading them to your kids, and then practicing each skill!

When you observe your child losing focus, just the simple reminder, "Remember...listening skills" will refocus them.

And of course watch like a hawk for situations when your child does listen effectively. Catch them doing it right, and follow up with a huge dose of appreciation, like, "Honey, I was so proud of you for listening to what i was saying."

If you have any questions about the 5 skills of listening, give me a shout. Id be happy to help!

Your friend,

Ivan Kravitz
US Blackbelt Academy
30251-H Golden Lantern
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
(949) 363-6500
www.teamusba.com

10 Easy Steps To Raise Your Child's Self Esteem

1. Always remind your child of their past victories and accomplishments. Let their self-image be built upon the recollection of past successes. Let the memory of failures and disappointments fade away.
2. Help your child strive for improvement…not perfection. Help them create reasonable expectations for performance.
3. Develop a Family Heritage. Teach your child to be proud of their family. Tell them about the achievements and sacrifices of their parents, grandparents, and other relatives.
4. Do provide feedback…don’t be overly critical. If you do have to give negative feedback, especially to an older child, always criticize in private, on the other hand always praise publicly!
5. Teach them the value of telling the truth. Lying steals Self-Esteem!
6. Appearance counts. Guide your child into taking pride in their appearance.
7. Try to guide them toward friends who have high Self-Esteem. Help them avoid negative people.
8. Paint the big picture with your child. Help them dream big goals for their future.
9.  Be healthy and fit. Exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet.
10. Become an expert. Pick a few activities that are important to your child and help them master them. Don’t allow them to jump from one activity to another.

KID Skills - "Healthy, Happy Confident Kids"

That’s your goal right? But have you ever found yourself

• Concerned about your child’s level of self control?
• Wishing your child had a greater ability to listen…to focus?
• Wondering painfully if your son or daughter has the self-esteem it takes to be successful?

You’re not alone! Even though we want our children to be healthy, happy and confident – they are confronted with an increasingly complicated and difficult world.

My name is Ivan Kravitz. I would like introduce you to “KID Skills” the short blog newsletter packed with valuable “parenting tips!”

“KID Skills” provides easy to use strategies that will assist you in raising healthy, happy, confident children! In fact over the last 20 years over 5,000 local families have used these proven strategies. Until now, they have been exclusively used in our award winning children’s program here at “US Blackbelt Academy”. But now, through “KID Skills” I’m sharing these powerful strategies with the local community as well.

“KID Skills” is my gift to you. free… with no strings attached.

In the upcoming posts you will learn

• 4 Ways To Raise Your Child’s Self Esteem
• 3 Skills That Will Triple Your Child’s Listening Retention
• Negative Peer Pressure…How To Teach Your Child To Resist!
• Why Some Children Are Eager To Learn, and Some Aren’t

And lots more in each article!

The simple truth is this “Good Old Fashioned Values Work”. And “KID Skills” provides the “coaching tips” you need to raise healthy, happy, confident children!

Stay tuned and keep an eye out for our next post, or if you prefer to sign up to our “KID Skills” Mailing list, please fill out the form below and we will send you the article every week!

Your Friend,

Ivan Kravitz

US Blackbelt Academy
30251-H Golden Lantern
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
(949)363-6500
www.teamusba.com