KEEPING YOUR EMOTIONS IN BALANCE...

“Keeping your emotions in balance”

Has your child ever erupted in Anger? Ever cry out of frustration?

This week we discuss the quality of keeping your emotions in balance. As the saying goes, “Lose control of your emotions, your opponent has an ally.”  Every emotion has an appropriate time and place. There is a time to be stern, and a time to be compassionate. If we become overly emotional, or if we mix these times and places up, we lose our ability to act appropriately. If, however we are able to respond with the appropriate emotion, at the appropriate time, with the right intensity, then we will have the best possible experience.

“A mighty person is one who has control over their emotions and can make friends of their enemies.”

This all sounds good, but how do we put this idea into action? An important thing to remember is that you are responsible for your actions. You may not be able to control your thoughts, but you should certainly be able to control what you do. So you might just decide not to say or do anything you would regret later when you are emotional. Logic and emotion are like oil and water…they do not mix! Wait until you are calm before you confront someone with an issue or before you make any important decisions.

Your assignment this week is to try and recognize when disempowering emotions are starting to take hold of you and “Nip them in the Bud”

More on SELF ESTEEM!

More on Self Esteem!

I hate to approach anything from a negative point of view. But sometimes it's necessary to speak bluntly...to discuss the negative in order to understand the positive.

The simple fact is...there are things that parents sometimes do that lower their child's self esteem.

The following are Self-Esteem Killers:

1. Compare one child to another, especially with siblings.
2. Have super high standards, reward only high level of progress.
3. Yell - A LOT!
4. Assume their child really wants, needs, and deserves all the freedom they are asking for.

Additionally they would:

1. Let the child make lots of choices for themselves, especially when they are really young.
2. Neglect to follow through. For example: Mom tells Lisa that a certain rule violation will result in a consequence. Lisa commits violation. Mom caves in and doesn't enforce consequence.
3. Set standars for the kids that Mom and Dad don't hold themselves to.
4. When you catch your children aspiring, caution them not to set their sights too high.
5. Be frugal in spending time with your kids.

And Finally...

1. Assume they will follow your words rather than your example.

Of course our job is to turn each of these awful statements into its opposite. Building your child's self worth requires consistent effort. Be diligent!

If you have any questions regarding Self Esteem give me a call, I'd be happy to help!

Your friend,

Ivan Kravitz

(949) 363-6500

P.S. Many of our readers have called to find out how to learn more about "KID Skill" topics. As a courtesy I've decided to offer a FREE One-Week Trial Membership at "USBA" to all of our readers. If you would like to register, just call us at (949)363-6500 and ask for Rachel.

P.P.S. You must hurry. It's our busy season with parents preparing for "Back To School", so we can only accept the first 25 requests.

Dealing With FEAR!

Fear affects us all at one time or another.

It

1. prevents us from doing the things that we should do, or would like to do.
2. produces mental stress and physical illness.
3. robs us of the happy, healthy life that we deserve!

But there is a little known secret! Fear is like a toothless dog, all bark and no bite.

Our children must learn that there are two types of fear.

The first type is the fear of circumstances that are truly dangerous. This fear is important, and must be paid attention to.

Should you have some fear about waking into traffic? Facing a vicious dog? You bet! These fears are there to protect us from situations that might actually harm us.

The second type of fear is different. It's also much more common. It's the fear that arises when no danger is actually present. For example some kids are afraid of:

1. meeting new people
2. trying a new thing
3. not conforming with other children

These fears can be conquered! They don't protect us from any actual danger. They serve no purpose, other than to hold us back...to keep us from realizing our potential.

Exercise:

1. With your child, identify a situation that would ordinarily cause him to be afraid.
2. Use visualization to "rehearse" the situation...with a successful outcome. Have Matt close his eyes. Say something like "Matt it's your turn in front of the class. You feel so calm. Your muscles are loose. You are breathing easily. You move without hurrying. You actually enjoy your time in front of the class. You finish your presentation and everybody applauds. You have a huge smile on your face as you return to your seat. You feel so proud of yourself."
3. Repeat and reinforce this process frequently, each time creating a vivd picture for Matt.
4. Teach Matt to "replay" this mental image on his own.

If you have any questions about helping your child conquer FEAR, give me a shout at (949) 363-6500. I'd be glad to help!

Your Friend,

Ivan Kravitz
US Blackbelt Academy
30251-H Golden Lantern
Laguna Niguel, CA 92677
(949)363-6500
www.teamusba.com